I'm on a bus, as if crossing a border, and drug inspectors are about to come through. I have a small bud of marijuana, so I tuck it in the back of a cigarette pack and stuff it in some other items under the seat in front of me.

The agents come through with a German Shepherd, and he stops briefly at my seat as if smelling something. Just when I'm about to say that I have a sandwich in my bag and that's probably what he's smelling, he loses interest and moves along. They don't seem to find anything.

After they are gone, I turn around to the rest of the bus (I'm in about the third row) and ask everybody, "So who does have pot in here?"

Most of the people raise their hands; without counting, I think it is 26 people.

I say "I think these drug dogs are just bullshit!"

(Remarkably close to an incident in real life about 20 years ago, when I took a radio station bus up to Canada to see a Pink Floyd show. When we reached the border, they offered amnesty by passing a bag through the bus, encouraging you to toss any drugs or paraphernalia, and then brought dogs through. Of course I wasn't carrying anything illegal, but the dog took an intense interest in my backpack. The handler asked if I had a sandwich in there, and I replied that yes, my lunch was in there. Apparently sandwiches can be a 'false positive' for the dog.)