The rapper Snoop Dogg is at my house. It's my old house on Garden Home Road, and he's apparently staying over with his wife or girlfriend and a small child, in the bedroom next to the carport. It's late morning, like maybe I just came home for lunch.

My first thought is that I should take a selfie with him - I mean, who wouldn't take a selfie with Snoop Dogg? But then I think that's rather impolite, I should get stoned with him first because that's his thing. If I get stoned now I can chill out and probably be thawed out enough to go back to work in a couple hours.

So I ask him if he wants to get stoned and he says sure. I assure him it's totally chill here in Oregon, just not a legal issue at all, for real. He's down with that.

He gives me this loaded pipe but I don't really know how to operate it. I take off this stem part accidentally and a bunch of smoke comes out. I just lean over and breathe the stray smoke, telling him that's probably sufficient for me since I very rarely get stoned.

(in real life, yeah, nearly never)