While I'm on the phone, I'm writing notes with Vera, back and forth on a yellow legal pad, like texting. My last entry was "I think we should break up", which is followed by Vera writing "ok, I'll get an apartment and move out", and other breakup plans.

I'm off the phone now, and I say "no no no, I didn't mean that...", explaining that I didn't mean to write that, I mean I wrote it, but just as a joke or something I was thinking, which I meant to erase, but then I got distracted by the phone call and just handed the pad back to her. Vera understands my explanation, but things are very awkward between us after that.