It starts with photographing this lion, who seems friendly but dangerous, and menacingly close to my group of tourists, in this dry field. For some reason I'm having trouble getting a good photo, they all come out blurry.

Then we're negotiating with the local tribe, we've offered to be fair and give up someone to be eaten, but it seems like they are going to be roasted and feasted on by the tribe, not the lion. We've made some promises, and then the tribe leader says "We choose you", drawing a line as if to simulate a knife cut across my belly, "you look like you could eat four men."

I'm sort of like 'ok, well, a deal is a deal', but then I'm thinking that I can probably get out of it some way, and it seems like I go to my hotel room and start making some calls.