I'm at a party, which I think I'm hosting, and Vladmir Putin is casually hanging around, just like anyone else. I start haranguing him politely, but insistently, about how what they are doing in Ukraine is wrong, brutal, and uncivilized. He doesn't offer any sort of meaningful defense, in fact I don't recall him saying anything, so I just keep going, trying to make him feel bad about himself.

It becomes apparent that Putin is a little bit too drunk, so I offer him some tea or coffee, and he asks for coffee. So I go to the kitchen and then I wonder aloud whether he meant instant coffee or brewed coffee, since culturally I think instant coffee is pretty much coffee over there. Do I have to go back and ask him? No, I joke aloud, he's Putin who thinks he's the Tsar of Russia, of course he drinks brewed coffee.