I suppose as you look at your this-christmas take
You’d say “bug-vacuums! Sew-machines! Give me a break!”
‘Cause as every girl knows, and at least one girl flaunts
There is one thing that pretty much every girl wants!
And it seems that this one certain so-special thing
Is the one thing that Santa refuses to bring!

But this Santa’s not stupid or dense, not at all
He knows summer from spring, he knows winter from fall
And the one thing he knows, save from music and booze,
Is this one thing is something that he can’t well choose!

And don’t think he didn’t shop each, every store
And then shopping them each one time, shopped them once more
Looking once, twice or thrice at each so-shiny thing
Thinking which one, oh what one, this Santa should bring?

But it’s famous how different are all the world’s girls
You know, some prefer diamonds, for others, it’s pearls
Some can’t live without gold; others silver attracts
Some would say “these here colors don’t go with my slacks!”
Or they’d say, in a moment intended for bliss
“Seems I already have one exactly like this!”
And the shame of the men-folk, though true be their heart
Is that really, they can’t so much tell them apart!

So this Santa decided, to give it a try
Letting the girl, herself, decide what she should buy
What would look the most best as her accessory
And perhaps, she can choose something better than me
If he gave her the budget of two hundred smackers
Could she do it? Or would she go utterly crackers?
But he suspects, in the end, she’d do all right
And could probably choose something that would delight

And he happens to know, from the shopping he’s done
That the Sears in the mall, well it could be one
‘Cause while they may not seem the most opportune scene
They’ve arranged quite a sale, the best that I’ve seen
Sometimes 50% off, perhaps even more!
They’re giving away such nice stuff, what a score!
But we’d better get there within just a few clicks
‘Cause the sale is ending on the 26th!

Merry Christmas and Happy Choosing!
“Santa” Fritz